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Workplace language around miscarriage and IVF can worsen emotional strain, doctor warns

Dr Abhijit Kulkarni, consultant at Create Fertility, said experiences such as IVF and miscarriage should not be viewed in the same way as temporary illnesses.

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Workplace language around miscarriage and IVF can worsen emotional strain, doctor warns
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A fertility specialist has warned that common workplace phrases used around miscarriage and fertility treatment can unintentionally dismiss the emotional and physical impact of reproductive health experiences.

According to estimates, around 10% to 20% of recognised pregnancies end in miscarriage, while the growing use of IVF means fertility treatment and pregnancy loss are increasingly becoming part of workplace conversations.

Dr Abhijit Kulkarni, consultant in reproductive medicine at Create Fertility, said experiences such as IVF, miscarriage and menopause should not be viewed in the same way as temporary illnesses.

Kulkarni said: “IVF, miscarriage, and menopause are fundamentally different from a standard illness because they are deeply tied to a person’s identity, future, and biological transition.

“Unlike a temporary infection, these experiences involve profound hormonal shifts that can affect every aspect of a person’s physical and mental well-being over a long period.

“A miscarriage is a significant bereavement that requires emotional processing alongside physical recovery, while IVF and menopause involve systemic changes that can be unpredictable.”

Dr Kulkarni also warned against phrases such as “at least you can try again” following pregnancy loss.

Kulkarni said: “Clinically, ‘trying again’ is never a guarantee and ignores the reality of ovarian reserve.

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“For a patient with low anti-müllerian hormone (AMH) levels, a failed cycle or miscarriage represents a dwindling biological window that may not open again.

“This phrase also ignores cumulative trauma — the physical and hormonal exhaustion that builds up with each attempt.”

The specialist said colleagues and managers should avoid “silver lining” comments and instead focus on practical support and flexibility.

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He added: “The most effective support is direct and practical, avoiding ‘silver lining’ platitudes such as ‘everything happens for a reason’ or ‘at least it happened early on’, which, even with good intentions, can feel incredibly cruel.”

Kulkarni added that managers should focus on practical adjustments, including workload flexibility, appointment support and recovery time without requiring repeated explanations from employees.

He also highlighted the physical impact workplace stress can have during fertility treatment, miscarriage recovery and menopause: “High levels of workplace stress and the fear of stigma can trigger the chronic release of cortisol and adrenaline.

“These fight or flight hormones are significant disruptors of the endocrine system, which is already under intense pressure during IVF, miscarriage, or menopause.”

He said stigma can prevent recovery by keeping employees in a prolonged state of stress and discouraging them from seeking help or taking time off.

The comments also addressed “brain fog” experienced during menopause and fertility treatment, which Kulkarni said is often misunderstood.

The doctor added: “When a colleague undergoing IVF struggles to find a word or loses focus in a meeting, it is crucial to recognise that this may reflect a physiological response to significant hormonal and emotional stress rather than simple distraction or reduced effort.

“Workplace support should not be viewed solely as an employee wellbeing initiative, but as a factor that can influence treatment tolerance, recovery, and overall health outcomes.”

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